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"Preholiday activities are the foreplay of Christmas. Naturally, Christmas cards are you first duty and you must send one (with a personal, handwritten message) to every single person you ever met, no matter how briefly. If this common courtesy is not reciprocated, never speak to the person again. Keep computerized records of violators and hold the grudge forever; don't even attend their funeral." - John Waters

Read "Why I Love Christmas" by John Waters. Thanks to 2 Jealous Perverts.
Every year, John Waters sends a personally signed Christmas card to a select list of friends and associates. Over the years, several of these cards have found their way onto the net (see ATOMIC BOOKS), so I collect them here as a special holiday greeting to you.

At the top is 2007's card, a tragic scene in which the perfect Christmas is ruined by a bad Santa.

Pictured above is 2006's card, a genuine mug shot from the Baltimore Police Department.

And at left is 2004's card, featuring a photo of John with his very strange and realistic doll named Bill.

Above is 2003's installment, which you'll see is not a card at all, but a tree ornament with a dead cockroach inside. How cheerful!

2002's card (left) appears to be John's Christmas outfit. But where is John?

2001 (above): DIVINE vs. LIZ!
An anonymous source has informed me that the pic of bald Liz is from LIFE magazine, an article about her surviving--LIZ IS A SUPERTROUPER!--brain surgery.

2000: Season's Greetings!

At right: This bizarre sculpture was featured on a special Waters holiday card found only in the Fall 2000 issue of Nest Magazine for you to rip out and send to a friend. The same issue featured a tour of John's house.

Below you will notice a running theme through several years... John's moustache.

1999: Instruments of moustache grooming

1998: A Bus Named Desire, photo by Dennis Dermody

1996: Indie actor/director Steve Buscemi as John Waters

1997: I have been informed that this is the fabulous Jeanne Moreau in Jules and Jim by Francois Truffaut.

1995: Appropriated copy of a Christmas card sent by Jerry Lewis and family in the '60s, painted by Walter and Maragaret Keane.

1994: Elizabeth Taylor from the film Ash Wednesday

Read "Why I Love Christmas" by John Waters. Thanks to 2 Jealous Perverts.