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John Waters and Peaches: Valentines Day show in Los Angeles

by Dorian Wood

Peaches did an outstanding job at proving to the world that filth is alive and well... and determined to rape us all with bright-red strap-ons! I had only heard about her infamous onstage antics, but she is truly something to behold. An American original. A must-see. A powerful tour-de-force. A delightful romp. Rump, even.

JW appeared onstage about 20 minutes later and drew extreme reactions from the audience, which consisted of the worst that the Los Angeles hipster culture had to offer (for the record... hipsters royally suck). His "Shock Value" monologue was pretty much that, delivered in a fashion that was nothing short of orgasmic. Dressed in a black Nehru-esque jacket and bright red tennis shoes, he brought into the light excerpts from the autobio, chronologically detailing his films (yes, even "Hag..."), as well as his fascination with murder trials. He urged everyone to explore the underground trend of digital/Internet filmmaking, a speech that nearly moved me to tears and precum. His timing was perfect. The length of the monologue was perfect. He ended with a surprise Q&A, which drove us little freaks into a frenzy. All in all, a night that will live deep in my bowels forever, like a beautiful tumor."

Of course, there is so much more to that, like when he finally revealed his sexual position of choice... versatile, naturally. Oh, and I could only afford the $40 floor ticket, which didn't include the meet-and-greet with JW like the $75 did! Anyway, my friend managed to get one of the VIP tix for his promotional services (passing out flyers, etc.), and I later met him inside. He showed me his arm. JW had written "I Love Dorian Wood" on it, and signed it. I nearly browned my trousers.

Make sure to check out Dorian Wood's site

And for more info on Peaches, see Kitty-Yo's site or PeachesRocks.com