The latest fan is
The whole gang:
David Robert Crews
David Heulun Jones
David Robert Crews
Gretchen and Kevin
Hex and Dze
Lynda L. Hinkle
Polly [Esther] Styrene
Zero Renton Prefect
How do I become
a Dreamland Fan?
Orchidbau, it's the most wonderful time of the year
I am truly honoured to be this month's featured fan. I feel like Playmate
of the Month - except that I am dressed. I tell you - ever since I met
you my life has been just like a vacation.
I have enjoyed dreamlandnews for so long now... I really don't know what
Waters fanatics (I love that word: fanatic) would do without this incredible
database - I know it must be a labor of love for you. As my site (www.orchidbau.com)
is for me.
Anyway - I wanted to share with you (and perhaps the visitors to your
site who might find it fun) this thing I wrote about nine years ago -
The John Waters Advent Calendar. It was something I wrote on the spur
of the moment to amuse a friend. And since it's that time of year I dug
it out and updated it to take into account "Cecil B. Demented"
and "A Dirty Shame."
Here it is.....
The John Waters Advent Calendar - 2007 Edition
Day 1... Buy eggs and name them.
Day 2... Put on a folk-hat and learn about another culture.
Day 3... Convict someone of assholism.
Day 4... Pound on your abdomen and scream that you don't want the baby
- refer to it as "a cancer."
Day 5... Eat a pretzel, for Christ's sake.
Day 6... Wear a "P" on your shirt and when anyone asks you why,
tell them that you are, "permanently punished."
Day 7... Rent the movie "Annie," and sing along (loudly) with
the song "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow." Don't rewind the
Day 8...Leave a dildo in someone's wishing well.
Day 9... Tell someone that when you're high you ARE Odetta.
Day 10... Call a hotel and ask if Pat Nixon ever got fucked in their presidential
Day 11... Go to an "alcoholics meeting."
Day 12... Wear your clothes backwards and walk backwards - if anyone gives
you an odd look tell them, "this backwards day is a lot of shit."
Day 13...Teabag someone.
Day 14... Fuck a chicken... or at least eat one.
Day 15... Throughout the day chant "Hare Krishna" as loudly
Day 16... Go "shopping for others."
Day 17... Go to see a family film... jump up spontaneously and tell your
fellow movie-goers, "You don't have to like this movie! You're a
victim of Advertising."
Day 18... Dye your clothes at a laundromat. If anyone gives you a hassle
tell them that you "don't have any fall colors."
Day 19... Have "funch."
Day 20... Steal two rolls of someone's toilet paper.
Day 21... Phone someone and ask them if this is "the cocksucker residence."
Day 22... At a store try on designer clothes that are too small for you.
As they rip mutter, "damn these designers!"
Day 23... Give (or receive) a rosary job.
Day 24... Throw a fit while opening Christmas gifts and knock the tree
over... preferably on your mother. Hysterically sob that you hate Christmas
as you make a hasty exit.
I should also mention that I have photo essay tributes to both Peggy Gravel
and the Wicked WItch of the West at my